Being truly happy isn't some gift or new toy you're given (though many people confuse the two). It's not the moment all your perceived negatives are resolved, nor a state of perpetually chasing fading thrills. Like anything in life, happiness is a skill that grows only when continually practiced. So the next time you're feeling overwhelmed, try following my logic and practice these cognitive negative-emotion resets.
Accountability:
1. No self-improvement or inner peace can ever be truly achieved unless one holds oneself accountable.
2. Accountability is a mixture of awareness, honesty, and rejecting old patterns of excuses or escapism.
3. Keeping your word to yourself is where pride and confidence begin, and negative emotions disperse.
4. Admitting and accepting your own strengths and weaknesses is the first step toward any correction.
5. Respecting yourself and accomplishments as "works in progress" replaces pessimism with optimism.
Pressure:
1. Expectations, whether from others or ourselves, are really just mental demands for a certain future.
2. We cannot predict the future or all its new variables; we can only achieve what is currently possible.
3. Thus, as long as we always try, failing to meet an expectation is just correcting an inaccurate guess.
4. While empathy is always appropriate, kindly reject burdens of guilt unless it was intentionally done.
5. Allow others to be responsible for their own happiness, and work daily being responsible for yours.
Guilt:
1. Guilt is only a valid indicator of self-fault if it's something legitimately identifiable and correctable.
2. All emotion must be set aside, if only temporarily, to logically and fairly evaluate if that is the case.
3. Once understood and addressed, continuing to feel guilt is unproductive and universally harmful.
4. While comforting friends or distractions are useful, ultimately you're responsible for your feelings.
5. By being your own friend, and learning to forgive yourself, happiness becomes your own decision.
Anger:
1. When broken down, anger is really just violent negativity toward something not being what we want.
2. Strong emotions often override cognitive logic capabilities, reducing our normal level of competency.
3. Step away, as much as possible, physically, mentally and emotionally from the situation causing harm.
4. Ask rational questions- how does this feeling affect me, and others? Is there a different perspective?
5. Continually practice pauses and engaging higher brain functions to diminish its power and severity.
Anxiety:
1. Stress has nothing to do with what's going on in our lives; it's caused from intellectual choices.
2. Every moment we give into circular thinking and dwell on negatives, we're practicing doing so.
3. Once we do anything enough- even a type of thinking- it becomes habit and reoccurs naturally.
4. Breaking this mindset is as simple as resetting the needle each time your record starts to skip.
5. Practice finding the joy in slow progress; work daily being responsible for your own happiness.
Remembering, choosing not to invest in yourself, whatever the excuse, is just choosing to be unhappy.