"America's The Best, amiright? I mean, our freedom- whatever things we can do that some other people somewhere can't-- well, that's gotta make us superior right there. Come on, that's almost biblical, to be thankful for what we have in the sorry faces of most who don't! Plus we don't have an oppressive criminal commie government who dictates limits on who we are, what we think, how we act here. I mean, it's our goddamn legal right to proudly judge and mock differences in others so as to aggressively defend our Much Superior biases.
These heathen violent foreigners with their weird, sick, unnatural ways are the Problem. They don't understand the Bible; just look at how they dress. I even saw on TV how they all blow up their own churches- so those people plain aren't right. Thank God America has the biggest military, so we can go kick their asses and teach them what civilization is! But they'll probably just keep trying to kill us, they are almost like animals. It’s sad, but I guess it all works out because we need to protect our military and oil jobs from the wussy hippy pinko nutjob environmentalist cucks.
Oh, and Democracy. See, we get to Vote for who tells us what to do. Other places don't have that, so their governments are corrupt. We’ve got people watching out for that here, protecting us all from every threat that jealous countries keep sneaking in. Gotta be smart and watch out for them. I'm not a racist or some a-hole, but most of those people don't even believe in God or know right from wrong. And that's already a big problem in some places- freaks in wrong bathrooms, dressing up in front of kids, welcoming in supposed ‘refugees’ out of guilt just because our bombs blew up their homes- that sh*t ain't right.
No offense, but if anybody doesn't like it here, they can leave. America is #1 because we are not afraid to stomp your pansy asses like it's Superbowl Sunday. Do what you want behind closed doors, sicko, but not where any decent people can see it- then you are honestly just asking for it. My mama didn't raise no sissy. I'd show my kids how we handle any threats to our Christian values. Yes, this is a Christian nation, and I don't wanna hear any garbage otherwise- Christian slave traders conquered this place two hundred years ago, so it's Ours now. Deal with it or get the hell out already.
I've got another one: Our Flag. It brings tears to my eyes every time the anthem plays and I see all of our brave men and women in clean uniforms saluting it on all nationally televised sporting events. True American Patriots, to go where they’re told and do what most folk couldn’t or wouldn't do. My grampa fought in a war too, so it's almost like I know what they are going through. Plus I love war movies, don't you? They show just how great America is- making the other countries piss their pants ‘cause we're aiming nukes at them! Whatever it takes to stop them building some.
Now, don't think we don't have problems, too. Taxes keep going up because Big Government wants us turned into a nanny state, too busy trying to protect everything to make money. They never ask themselves, how can we live without money? No, just stupid agencies for every cause, like whales and water. I say get a job, go to the store and buy your own water like everyone else! Most of the world is water, it's not like we're running out. The ice caps still have tons of it left to use up. America is best because of people, not some fish or birds.
What we need is someone strong in power- someone rich and successful, who doesn't take any crap or care what any "expert" thinks. Because real American men don't ask- not for directions, not for handouts, nor for anyone else's opinion. I should know, after all; my daddy didn't raise no fool. That is what real American Pride is all about; never being afraid to protect what's yours, to give everyone a piece of your mind- even when not wanted- and to renew in each subsequent generation this same unquestionable indoctrination of defensive pigheaded toxic ignorance.
So let’s bring back the good 'ol social stigmas and divisionist norms of yesteryear. Let us revive this New Reaginism of 'Making America Great Again'- by ignoring any lessons of the past, instead relying on empty nationalist catchphrases which justify further wars and increased for-profit colonialism. Consequences are for cowards, and people who think that God would actually let us kill this planet. We’ve had quite enough of that sort, thank-you-very-much! Time to show these spineless yuppies how we run a successful business."
