There’s been much talk and publicity recently over the plight of women subjected to all kinds of domineering, humiliating and abusive behaviour from men. This situation needs healing for sure, for both women and men, and to do this we need to inquire deep within the problem.
In the big picture, it’s also great to see more attention being brought to empowering the divine feminine. In this article I’d like to bring attention to how the masculine aspect can also be healed. I’m not talking specifically about men, though this does need to happen. I’m talking about the masculine aspect of the energy that makes up the universe — the yang. This energy lives within all of us, men and women, and so we can all contribute by healing it within ourselves.
The problem has been that masculine energy has gotten so distorted over the centuries. In it’s pure, aligned form the divine masculine is clear, willful, passionate, protective, committed and focussed. However, when it gets distorted it can turn into domination, perversion, and aggression. This usually comes from some need to control the environment because of a need for a specific outcome.
So how can we heal it?
Firstly, we need to recognise that masculine energy in it’s pure form IS divine! It’s very common, particularly in spiritual circles, to strive for traits such as love, peace, compassion and acceptance. But how often does will power, focus, passion and courage get overlooked? These traits are needed too. They are deeply catalytic.
If I said the word ‘penetration’ to you now, how would you react? Tightness, perhaps even nausea? It’s a word that carries a lot of weight and is loaded with judgement. But what does penetration really mean? In the work of self-realisation we must use masculine energy to penetrate into our unconsciousness. It shines a light in the darkness and encourages us to ‘go deeper’. Where would we be without this? I suppose probably in comfortable denial, stuck in a bubble of ‘love and light’ but never able to face any of life’s obstacles.
On a more practical outer level we can use masculine energy to initiate change in our lives. To take that bold, but necessary step into the unknown. It is also needed to establish boundaries, asserting what is okay for you and what is not. This is particularly important for empaths and highly sensitive people. It can be so easy to lose yourself in others, particularly when you always see their point of view. The masculine energy protects you from this, establishing a boundary so that you remain clear in who you are.
Coming into alignment
I have met many women out there (men too) who subtly deny their masculine side, convincing themselves that it is too aggressive to assert themselves instead of simply trusting that what they’re getting is right for them. I would say there needs to be a recognition of balance here. Indeed, you draw to you exactly the right circumstances for you to come closer to yourself. But, there also needs to be an inquiry into why you’ve attracted it. Does it serve you to be accepting in this circumstance? Perhaps it does. Or, perhaps the right action is to stand your ground, asserting that what is happening is not okay.
I have also met many men (women too) who overuse their masculine side, seeking to control and dominate a situation in an effort to get something from it, even if it’s just an ego boost. I would say there definitely needs to be an expression of masculine energy when it wants to come through, but in a way that doesn’t seek to gain power over someone else. Can you stay in your own power without disempowering someone else? Why would you need to disempower somebody else when you can find all the strength you need inside? It can be a challenge, especially when it is so ingrained into our psyche. But it is needed to heal both men and women. It even comes down to the language we use. Can we admit we have a problem without needing to change it? Can we take responsibility for our own emotional pain? This is where true strength and courage lie.
I’d love to hear how you feel about what you’ve read here. Does it push your buttons? What have been your experiences with masculine energy?
With love, as always,
Richard West is a carer, psychologist, spiritual facilitator and writer. After a life of much change, both wanted and unwanted, he decided to embrace all aspects of change, and be a reflection of this for others. Today Richard is a spiritual facilitator at Openhand. He offers services in Spiritual Facilitation and Conscious Dying on his website ‘Back to the Source’ and writes regular articles on his blog.