Aug 23, 2017

Everything Explained With One Simple Analogy

Musician and poet Joshua Idehen took to Twitter and helped us all make sense of the many terms by our society using analogies based around your mum washing your clothes. Genius.
By Joshua Idehen / filmsforaction.org
Everything Explained With One Simple Analogy

A list of terms explained.

— Joshua Idehen (@BeninCitizen) 

Capitalism: your mum washes your clothes.
You pay her a dollar.
She complains.
You call the police and claim she's rioting.

Communism: your mum does the washing. You do the washing. Every night you salute a photo of your dad.

Socialism: your mum does the washing. You do the cooking. Everyone is theoretically happy.

Fascism: your mum does the washing whilst fearing for her life.

Nazism: your mum does the washing. You gas the laundry room.

Feudalism: your mum does the washing and pays you tax.

Liberalism: you watch your mum do the washing and feel really really bad.
"Something must be done" u say.
Something may or may not get done

Libertarianism: your mum does the washing. You believe you did it.

Atheism: your mum does the washing. You make a YouTube video demanding peer reviewed evidence she did, in fact, do the washing.

misogyny: you hate your mum whether or not she does the washing.

Patriarchy: your mum doesn't exist. The washing is mysteriously done

Men's rights activism: your mum does the washing. You call her a whore.

Matriarchy: your mum does the washing. You do the washing. you are really happy pulling your weight in the house

Feminism: your mum insists you grow up and do your own washing.

White feminism: your mum hired a woman of color to do the washing

Islamophobia: your mum does the washing. She left out a sock. You brand her a hygiene terrorist.

Racism: your mum does the washing. She blames black people

Cultural appropriationism: While your mum does the washing, You steal her dirty clothes mimic her in public. Public gives you money.

Colonialism: you barge into mum's room. Claim you "discovered" it. Dump your dirty clothes on the floor

Neo capitalism: your mum does the washing.
You pay her a dollar.
You get her to do your mates washing.
Your mate pays you £50

Corporationism: your mum considers not doing the washing. u pay your mate £35 to lobby on ur behalf. No dice. u sue for "emotional sabotage"

Americanism: your mum does the washing. It's in the constitution. END OF DISCUSSION.

Ableism: your mum is doing the washing. She has dementia. You call her a "retard."

Mis-genderism: "cheers dude" you say, as your mum does the washing. She tells you she's not a dude. "Whatever dude", you say.

Mansplaining- your mum does the washing. You tell her how best to do the washing.
You have never done the washing.

Sexism: of course your mum does the washing.

Duh.

Rape culture: it's mum's fault she does the washing/she asked to do the washing/she doesn't do the washing as much as she says she does

Misandry: that one time your mum refused to do the washing has convinced you she hates you

Egalitarianism: that one time you did the washing is proof its all equal and no one needs feminism any more

Homophobia: you think it's unnatural that your mum doesn't do the washing. Against gods will, even

Toxic Masculinity: Your brother helped your mum do the washing so you called him a pussy to his face/drank all the beer/demanded a fight etc


Joshua Idehen is a musician, poet and performer. Follow him on Twitter @BeninCitizen

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