By Alex Seitz-Wald
Apr 22, 2013
Alex Jones must be either getting lazy or think his readers are really dumb, because his grand theory about the Boston Marathon bombings is the sloppiest concocted narrative we’ve seen since that dog ate your homework.
Of course, Jones and his comrades at InfoWars thinks the brothers suspected in the bombing are innocent, citing such reliable sources as Twitter user “Trippin No L’ 4/20.”
But if the brothers Tsarnaev didn’t do it, who did? Jones laid out his unified theory of the event yesterday in a video promising “PROOF!” that the event was “staged” and an accompanying blog post.
The basic outline is the same as all of his projects: A globalist cabal working through the U.S. government staged a “false flag” operation that will be blamed on terrorists as pretext to take away guns and civil liberties and eventually tyranny. Eventually, they will depopulate the entire planet through massive genocides.
In the video, Jones calls the bombings “the biggest event” of his 18 years of broadcasting, so you would think he would bring his A game, but he really let us down with this one. There’s something you have to respect about a good conspiracy theory — Hollywood certainly does — and Jones is generally a master, but his latest work is so full of holes, internal inconsistencies and outrageous leaps in logic that only die-hard fans willing to suspend all disbelief will appreciate it. It’s really the Phantom Menace of the InfoWars franchise.
Here are just a few of the things a good continuity supervisor would catch:
Jones says Navy SEALs were on the scene and involved in carrying out the attack. He knows this because there were “guys in uniforms” wearing “Navy SEAL caps” all over the finish line. This is his primary piece of evidence, appearing in numerous blog posts and videos across his site. But if you’re executing a secret conspiracy, don’t you think you’d leave the uniform and baseball cap identifying yourself as a member of said conspiracy at home? Why not just wear a name tag that says, “Hello, my name is conspirator #4, Gorge Soros sent me?” The devil is in the fabricated details, Alex, you know that.
The mask slips, Jones says, when the “whole script got screwed up” after CNN reported, and then retracted, that a suspect had been arrested (thanks, John King!). The reason for the change, Jones says, is that the conspirators didn’t anticipate that people would have access to public images of the bombing. Really? The omnipotent globalist regime didn’t think, gee, “I wonder if there will be any cameras at this very high-profile event. You know, the one where thousands of people come with iPhones and dozens of media outlets set up hundreds of camera along the route?” How are we supposed to take the globalist threat seriously when they can’t even get this right.
In the space of few hundred words, InfoWars can’t decide if the media is merely useful idiots or direct co-conspirators. First, the site says the bomb threat at the courthouse after the attack was a pretext to “distract the media,” but states that the “government … ordered the corporate media to ignore the Plan A.” But if you can simply order the media to do anything you want, why create a distraction? Why bother with any of this, really? Just order the media to make the whole thing up, catch the fall guy right away, then kick up your feet with a hot cup of global enslavement and wash it down with some mind-controlling fluoridated water. It’s these kind of internal consistencies that really take the reader out the story.
Beyond this, let’s just step back for a moment and take a look at the overall concept. For a compelling narrative, you need a capable and scary villain, but these guys sound like the wet bandits of megalomaniacal cabals. They have the most powerful people in the world — including the media — in their camp, and they can’t even come up with a compelling coverup, let alone remember to take their baseball caps off?
And when exactly does the cabal cash in on all these false flags? If there were black helicopters, now seems like a pretty good time to deploy them. And maybe they shouldn’t have let that gun control bill die in the Senate this week, considering that gun control is a central part of their agenda.
And I’m having trouble getting into the heads of the globalists here — what’s the motivation? They’re already rich and powerful and can do pretty much whatever they want, so why bother going through all the trouble of depopulating the world? At their current rate of success, they’ll all be dead before they even have a chance to enjoy their handiwork. And why not stage more devastating attacks? Pretend to kidnap the president and demand Congress pass the “Repeal the Bill of Rights Act of 2013.” This is truly the most pathetic globalist conspiracy ever.
Any aspiring screenwriter in a hovel in West Hollywood worth his weight in bartending tips could come up with a more convincing plotline. Michael Bay is laughing at you somewhere. We expect more from you, Alex — you didn’t become the nation’s most trusted conspiracy theorist for nothing. Try harder next time.
And a word for Jones’ fans: You say you’re all about questioning authority and dismantling spoon-fed narratives, but you’d have to be more gullible than a Prole at the Ministry of Truth to believe this crap.
WAKE UP, PEOPLE! YOU ARE THE SHEEPLE AND ALEX JONES IS YOUR BIG BROTHER.
Alex Seitz-Wald is Salon's political reporter.
Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org,
and follow him on Twitter @aseitzwald.
The irony of Jones is that his cartoon versions of evil, conspiratorial plots end up making people less likely to criticize the government, because his version of reality is so ridiculous that it obscures and distracts from legitimate criticisms and realistic scenarios that may still implicate FBI responsibility.
Jones paints a picture of a world where every agent within government is in on a vast and evil conspiracy. In reality, government departments are heavily compartmentalized so that one hand doesn't know what the other hand is doing, let alone individuals within the same departments.
Jones paints a world where agents clearly identifying themselves at a highly-media recorded event were behind an attack while the alleged suspects are assumed to be innocent patsies. In reality, the FBI has a long and well documented record of hunting out, infiltrating, and encouraging would-be terrorists via informants, devising plots for them to carry out, arming them, then foiling their plot moments before it can be carried out.
In all of the previous cases, the would-be terrorists (setting aside the questionable tactics of goading, encouragement and assistance) still wanted to carry out the attack, meaning that there are still bad (if not manipulated) people wanting to do bad things. And this is likely the situation with the Boston attack as well.
However, at least one FBI-assisted plot was not foiled at the last moment or provided dummy explosives in the end. In 1993, the New York Times revealed that the FBI was involved in a similar manner with the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, and yet the attack was 'allowed' to go live.
It is hard to escape such a conclusion when an FBI informant recorded hundreds of hours of conversations with his FBI superiors before the attack, making it indisputable that the FBI could have prevented the bombing if it so chose.
On top of this, it was the New York Times (not some questionable Infowars blogger) that reported the story, who you can guess would be damn sure to verify the story before publishing.
What this all means is, it is entirely plausible that this could have been another case where the FBI was directing and assisting the two brothers prior to the attack via an informant, and the FBI failed to foil the plot. Or, as in the case of the 1993 bombing, an FBI supervisor had "other ideas."
As the New York Times reported, "The informer was to have helped the plotters build the bomb and supply the fake powder, but the plan was called off by an F.B.I. supervisor who had other ideas about how the informer, Emad A. Salem, should be used, the informer said."
But whether the FBI shares any responsibility for the latest Boston bombing, either due to a spectacular failure of the agency to prevent an attack which in many cases it helps to facilitate, or if, despite all of its over-zealous efforts to foil terrorist plots, they failed to monitor the two suspects despite interviewing them in 2011, and again in 2012 after receiving warnings from Russia, or finally, if this turns out to be a redux of the 1993 bombing, one thing can be certain: criticism of the tactics used by the FBI to fight the 'war on terror' is more than warranted.
It is Jones' cartoon, over-the-top, and easily debunked criticisms that, as perfectly illustrated above, works so wonderfully at distracting from legitimate lines of inquiry and criticism.