Theresa May's Cabinet is Possibly the Most Right Wing in Modern History
Comedian Frankie Boyle publishes critical article on his Facebook page after it was pulled by The Guardian newsaper
Theresa May's Cabinet is Possibly the Most Right Wing in Modern History
By Frankie Boyle / facebook.com
Jul 19, 2016

Much as this new cabinet looks like the Monster Mash, it must be a nice change for the Tories to have a few frontbenchers whose mum and dad didn’t get out of the back of the car when they arrived at parent’s evening. Normally, the Prime Minister is obliged for Occult reasons to find a place in cabinet for someone representing each of the Archetypes in the classic Tarot of Tories : The Jester; The Toad; The Shapeshifter; The Well Groomed Man; The Pederast; Lord Business; Shagger Without Portfolio; The Other Pederast; The Unknown Woman; and The Bummed Man. One thing this cabinet will help with is reclaiming the side of the Conservative vote that had crumbled to UKIP. Farage has already disappeared, as if he was only ever called into existence by the collective telepathic will of Daily Express readers. If the election isn't called for two years and Brexit gets under way, or at least seems to, will UKIP still exist in a meaningful way? Do we even care about, say, their education policy? It’s like wanting to know ISIS’s position on speed cameras.

Theresa May is our second Prime Minister with the outer carapace of a human female, but what do we know about what she really thinks? We have nothing more to go on than her six years as the most right wing Home Secretary in living memory and her declared opposition to human rights. Who knows yet what her philosophy will be? The smart money is on free will for the rich and determinism for the poor. The appointment of 69 Junior Ministers shows us just how insecure May feels about a backbench rebellion, as well as showcasing her famously smutty sense of humour. In the interests of keeping him where she can see him, and general distraction, she placed Boris Johnson, looking more than ever like a nightmare Terry Gilliam had about an Emperor penguin, at the Foreign Office. Boris's appointment has certainly divided people, into those who don't want to be represented by him abroad and those who're just glad that he'll be out of the country more often. Foreign Office. You'd think by now it would be the dept for International Relations and Co-operation or something, but no it's the Foreign Office, an office, for dealing with foreigners.

I'm not judging Labour's behaviour so far in their election. Trying to exclude your core demographic by charging 25 quid is exactly what I did on my last stand up tour. Perhaps what non members like me don't understand is that all this talk of "Labour family" is more than a metaphor, and they really do all fucking hate each other. We all marvelled at the way the Tory shield wall closed during their election, at the sheer brutal efficacy of it, in the same way that Ian Holm's android in Alien purred over the efficiency of the film's predator. It's admirable I'm sure, but let's remember that no good will come of it. There's nothing to say that a soft-left candidate who echoed some of the Conservative's concerns about immigration couldn't make a better Labour leader, except for the last election where they tried that and it totally didn't work. But that's politics isn't it? It's all about opinions. I mean I suppose there are some people in Iraq, Libya and Syria who might view the concern over a brick going through Angela Eagle's office window with a certain ironic detachment, if they still had the Internet, or indeed eyes. The spirit of the times was perhaps best captured when Owen Smith launched his candidacy by going on Andrew Marr to announce that he would be happy to instigate a nuclear holocaust, as Marr prepared to throw over to a country trio called Applewood Road.

I've sensed a certain anti-democratic air in the media since Brexit, and maybe some of this has found its way into the Labour debate. Perhaps the parliamentary party are best placed to choose leaders after all, has been the response of commentators who secretly want to scream for quite a long time about why any decision should depend on the opinions of people who live in Sunderland. Labour have been attacked for failing to hold power to account, but there was a time when the media saw that as its own job too. If only half the horror at being plunged into the unknown of Brexit had been reserved for the grim certainties of this May government. The man who destroyed a lot of lives imposing an austerity that actually increased debt got sacked and did a runner out of the back door, while the press ran pieces on May's first speech (about, eh, social justice…) that were little more than PR. Maybe we need to be a bit more generous about the stated intentions of voters and a bit more sceptical about those of politicians.

For what it's worth, all the indicators are that May is a vehemently pro-corporate Tory who is probably well to the right of her own traditional right-wing, and this is possibly the most right wing cabinet in modern history. And yet, paradoxically, I think we are about to enter a time when we will put our petty divisions aside, when we will learn to co-operate fully, when we will raise our consciousness from the mundane. We will have to do this in order to survive, and we will, in the Re-education camps. I'll see you there.

0.0 ·
0
Trending Today
What Happens When You Rebel Against the Herd
Sofo Archon · 15,461 views today · Are You Truly Living Your Life? You live, but are you living the way you want to live, or the way others want you to live? You choose, but are your choices based on...
10 Words Every Girl Should Learn
Soraya Chemaly · 13,303 views today · "Stop interrupting me."  "I just said that." "No explanation needed." In fifth grade, I won the school courtesy prize. In other words, I won an award for being polite. My...
How Norway Avoided Becoming a Fascist State
George Lakey · 8,668 views today · Instead of falling to the Nazi party, Norway broke through to a social democracy. Their history shows us polarization is nothing to despair over.
Everything We Think We Know About Addiction Is Wrong
6 min · 4,175 views today · What causes addiction? Easy, right? Drugs cause addiction. But maybe it is not that simple. This video is adapted from Johann Hari's New York Times best-selling book 'Chasing...
Artificial Ethics and the Search for Intelligence
5 min · 3,339 views today · How to stop a robot turning evil.  It's 2027 and Mental Endeavours Ltd has a problem with their flagship robot Günther. How do you program an intelligent machine not to...
How a Lack of Touch Is Destroying Men
Mark Green · 3,218 views today · Why Men Need More Platonic Touch in their Lives
The Coming War on China
John Pilger · 2,425 views today · A major US military build-up – including nuclear weapons – is under way in Asia and the Pacific with the purpose of confronting China. John Pilger raises the alarm on an...
Murdoch and Trump, Sitting at the Tee, S-C-H-E-M-I-N-G
Frankie Boyle · 2,238 views today · Say what you like about Donald Trump but he's already done things people said were impossible, like made Twitter worse. Looking back, the Harambe situation is the closest...
Real Underground Kingdom That Has Existed for Millions of Years Went Unnoticed, Until Recently...
Kid Krunk · 1,459 views today · 28 Stunning Photos Of The World’s Largest Cave
Without Saying a Word This 6 Minute Clip From Samsara Will Make You Speechless
6 min · 1,434 views today · Can you put this video into words? It's a clip from the phenomenal documentary Samsara, directed by Ron Fricke, who also made Baraka.  If you're interested in watching...
Two Ways to Build Global Community
Dan Hind · 1,219 views today · A platform co-operative approach to information, rather than the models of Facebook and legacy media, provide reason for optimism, writes Dan Hind.
Your Lifestyle Has Already Been Designed (The Real Reason For The Forty-Hour Workweek)
David Cain · 1,117 views today · Well I’m in the working world again. I’ve found myself a well-paying gig in the engineering industry, and life finally feels like it’s returning to normal after my nine months...
John Lennon's "Imagine," Made Into a Comic Strip
John Lennon. Art by Pablo Stanley · 1,063 views today · This is easily the best comic strip ever made.  Pabl
What Would It Take to Stop the Raids?
CrimethInc. Ex-Workers Collective · 864 views today · Responding Effectively to the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) Attacks
Philippine Vigils Against Vigilantes - The Reign of Terror in the President's War on Drugs
7 min · 794 views today · The war on drugs waged by Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte has taken more than 7,000 lives since its inception. It took the killing of a South Korean businessman by police...
What Makes Call-Out Culture So Toxic
Asam Ahmad · 759 views today · Call-out culture refers to the tendency among progressives, radicals, activists, and community organizers to publicly name instances or patterns of oppressive behaviour and...
System Change Will Not Be Negotiated
Nnimmo Bassey · 747 views today · We frequently hear calls for system change, at public mobilisations, in conference halls and even in negotiation halls. The calls come as slogans, they come in anger and they...
A Hauntingly Beautiful Short Film About Life and Death
5 min · 664 views today · The Life of Death is a touching handdrawn animation about the day Death fell in love with Life.
Simple Social Experiment Shows We Are More Than The Boxes People Put Us In
3 min · 664 views today · We live in a time where we are quick to put people in boxes. Maybe we have more in common than what we think?
Today I Rise: This Beautiful Short Film Is Like a Love Poem For Your Heart and Soul
4 min · 577 views today · "The world is missing what I am ready to give: My Wisdom, My Sweetness, My Love and My hunger for Peace." "Where are you? Where are you, little girl with broken wings but full...
Load More
What's Next
Like us on Facebook?
Theresa May's Cabinet is Possibly the Most Right Wing in Modern History