Sea Shepherd's Captain Paul Watson: "Confessions of a Fat Bastard"
By Captain Paul Watson /

How do I know when my critics have run out of valid arguments against what I am doing?

It’s when they resort to making insulting remarks about my appearance.

I was actually quite amused to see a posting yesterday from a woman in the Faroe Islands calling me Emperor Fatson and denigrating me for being in her words, “disgustingly fat.”

I clicked on her facebook profile expecting this person who so venomously denigrated me, to be svelte and thin.

Shockingly, the picture of her, her husband and her child looking very, “fat” in fact fatter than myself, seemed very bizarre. Even the kid seemed bigger than me.

The big fat kettle was calling the kettle fat.

I was so disappointed, I had been getting ready to post, “tiny Faroese whalers, get inta ma’ belly.” But they were not so tiny and I had to come up with an alternative plan, so I simply blocked her. What I saw was best forgotten, not her weight, mind you, but her smug “I support the cruel slaughter of whales” smile.

It could of course, be a situation of self-hate with such people, and thus she was simply projecting her own self-hate on me. Could be, don’t know, and really don’t care.

In fact a great percentage of the trolls and hate-mongers who make derogatory comments about my weight or looks are not exactly fit, trim or attractive themselves.

But I got another message from a young Faroese woman saying I can’t possibly be vegan because I am not skinny, and in her opinion all vegans must be, and this is her word, not mine, “skeletal”.

Which just goes to prove how ignorant some people can be about veganism. I don’t ever recall meeting a skeletal vegan. In fact the planet’s most powerful, strongest and toughest animals on the land are vegan – elephants, bulls, horses, camels, kangaroos, hippos, rhinos, moose, and many more. No carnivore on Earth can take down a healthy full-grown elephant, rhino or moose unless you’re a cowardly hunter armed with a big gun to compensate for your inadequate development as a compassionate hominid.

I suppose some of my detractors could be feeling self conscious of their own appearance and hating themselves for it, and so they resort to such insults because they would feel crushed and demoralized if a horrid label referencing their weight were to be applied to themselves.

As for me, it does not bother me at all. I am 63 years old. I don’t need to have the athletic body I had in my youth. I am not out to impress anyone with my “masculine good looks” and if they truly are disgusted to look at me than I am happy to have disgusted them. I’m happy to be their disgusting Medusa, although in most cases their hearts have already turned to stone because most of the people who hate tend to be people who main and kill, or support people who main and kill animals.

Being fat is nothing more than being what you are, and if people don’t like it, that is their problem, because what I am, is simply none of their business. I can understand people being upset about and critizing what I do and the way I do it, but how I look while doing it, seems irrelevant, well at least to me, and that is all that truly matters.

South Park made a big deal about my weight and I thought it was hilarious because they never say anything flattering about anyone and they opted to ridicule my weight rather than my cause. And Stan made us look like the non-violent activists we are, rather than the violent extremist Trey Parker and that other guy, made Stan out to be.

I am actually quite content with my health and my appearance. I am not lonely, I have a loving and beautiful fiancée, a loving family and a great many real friends in addition to the almost half a million facebook friends.

I have never smoked (anything), I don’t over indulge on alcohol, I maintain a vegan diet and I walk each and every day. I can run without losing my breath, my heart is strong, my blood pressure is normal and I feel great.

So if my critics are worried that my weight may affect my health, I assure you it does not, and I’m sorry to disappoint you in saying so.

I’m not sure if calling me fat makes it easier to kill a whale or a seal but if it does I can well understand the need for them to grasp at something, anything really, to distract their conscience. Cruel people, especially cruel killers love to demonize anyone who dares to suggest that what they are doing is unethical.

Sort of like:

Me: You know you’re inflicting a great deal of agonizing suffering on that animal.

Animal Killer: Oh yea, well, You’re fat.

Me: You’re being cruel and that animal is suffering.

Animal Killer: Bugger off fatso.

Of course all of this is said on social networks because one advantage of being big is that very few people insult you to your face.

Not that it would matter to me if they did. There are plenty of wonderful fat men who changed the world for the better like the Lord Buddha, Benjamin Franklin, President Teddy Roosevelt, Winston Churchill, Babe Ruth, Michael Moore, Elvis Presley, John Belushi and John Candy.

In a world of suffering, of extremist cruelty inflicted on animals including human animals, of ecological destruction on a massive scale, in a world ravaged by war, diseases, famine, and poverty, does anyone with any intelligence really believe I would give a crap if I am called “fat.”

3.5 ·
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Sea Shepherd's Captain Paul Watson: "Confessions of a Fat Bastard"