Aotea-Mower: The Land of the Loony White Media Woosies

In the land formerly known as Aotearoa New Zealand, Snoopman reveals why exactly Aotea-Mower is primed for a zombie-like walk into tyranny via the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) and its fraternal mega cartel deal siblings.
By Steve Edwards /
Feb 12, 2016
Aotea-Mower: The Land of the Loony White Media Woosies

Fight-less ‘Birds of Prey’


Before I get into this anthropological appraisal of ‘Aotea-Mower: The Land of the Loony White Media Woosies’, I need to explain my highly-qualified area of expertise. By day, I work undercover as a TV news editor. This means I’m an expert in practically everything.

The pictures below are of me getting changed into Steve-the-Train-Engineer on my way to a protest opposing the February 4 signing of the Trans-Pacific Partnership agreement (TPPA) at the Sky City casino complex in the New Zealand realm’s most sprawling, land-hungry, and lava-scolded city-mega-machine – Auckland.

Busted by a Lawyer: Snoopman transforms Steve-the-Train-Engineer

Spotted by a Lawyer: Snoopman transforms into Steve-the-Train-Engineer.

Yes, before you ask, I’m an actual superhero. The sharp among you will have noticed that the suited dude’s chemical addiction accessory is pointing to the deep fact that my shoes are hovering three inches off the pavement. This was the first mistake I made that day.

Fortunately, the suited dude was the only person who noticed, so it didn’t seem too much trouble to apply my MK-ULTRA hypnosis skills from my ‘dark-side’ CIA days on him so I could wipe that memory. It is perhaps unfortunate – depending on your perspective – that I also erased the part of his brain that contained his law degree. And memories of his life. This was my second mistake for the day.

Last I checked up on him – in case you think I’m callous – he was watching a thinky film called Why We Fight, which is about why America blows countries up, that the night security staff at the Auckland City Library were playing for him, while we locate his family.

But the third mistake I made bound me up with how all the other protesters were perceived through the sanitizing lens filters and the 1080-doused possum-socked microphones of Aotea-Mower’s sad excuse for commercial news, dominated as it is by WMW’s (or White Media Woosies, for long). It has taken me three days to figure out what went wrong.

For ages, I’ve known that one of my superpowers is detecting the propaganda of empire, while New Zealand’s five major cartelized media corporations – MediaWorks, Fairfax Media, APN/NZME, Sky TV, and TVNZ – epically fail constantly. But – until now – I hadn’t known what my weakness was (since every super-hero is expected to have one).

I have found that jocky blokes, oblivious chicks and unfunny corporate nerds wielding microphones and cameras are to me, what Kryptonite is to Superman. In a land where ‘Kiwis’ outnumber the native Māoris,  formerly-known-as-Aoteroa New Zealand has an oversupply of jocky blokes, oblivious chicks and corporate nerds from which Aotea-Mower’s loony media woosies are born, bred and brainwashed. This big fact, it turns out, accounts for this land’s zombie-like walk into tyranny via the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA).

It is my qualified opinion as an undercover TV news editor by day that the deep purpose of the ‘kiwi’ label is to turn most non-Māori New Zealanders into fight-less ‘birds of prey’.

To show you how far along this evolutionary cul-de-sac they’ve come, let me illustrate with an example. In the reportage on the anti-TPPA protests, the news media once again let Aotea-Mower’s prime minister, Infallible Expert on Everything, and serial waitress abuser John Key get away with referring to marchers as a ‘rent-a-protest’ crowd (as he did last August). And the fight-less ‘birds of prey’ don’t even blink.

Let me explain how Aotea-Mower ’s dumbest creatures – sissy blokes, scaredy-cat chicks, and corporate-humour nerds – became so dumb.

Rented by Whom? NZ's Prime Minister claimed anti-TPPA protestors habitually protest (as if they have an addiction).

Rented by Whom? Aotea Mower’s Prime Minister claimed anti-TPPA protestors habitually protest (as if they have an addiction).

‘Kiwis’ have been labelled after an endangered nocturnal ground-foraging flightless bird that scratches the leaf ‘litter’ of the untidy forest ‘floors’ for insects. To woodlice, centipedes, slugs  snails and spiders, the kiwi is a formidable bird of prey. The flying forebears of today’s kiwis lacked the foresight long-ago to see that there would be a time when foreign predators would come from overseas and loot their habitats, thereby making their aforementioned inaction to keep up with their flying exercises an unwise series of procrastinations.

As such, I contend that sissy Kiwi blokes, scaredy-cat kiwi chicks and kiwi corporate-humour nerds suffer from a disorder worthy of an entry in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Manual. The disorder is called Political Puberty Procrastination Psychosis (PPPP). It has been conditioned into them, and so it’s not PC to laugh at them.

You see, Kiwis impaired with PPPP could actually learn to fight-back and in time evolve into another native bird – the Tui – which can fight fiercely and sing and fly with a zing!

It’s easier than it sounds.


A Parallel Universe of Doom

In aiming to be like a Tui, it requires Kiwis impaired with PPPP to see what they have in common with Māori. With this expansive worldview, Kiwis once impaired with PPPP will see the fact that all peoples are indigenous to somewhere and have been run off land by imperial conquest; whether by the sword, the pen or some plague caused by poor, egotistical land management practices (or the absence of Kaitiakitanga).

Those of us who have overcome Political Puberty Procrastination Psychosis can help. Luckily, Kiwis impaired with PPPP are easier to spot than you might think.

Fight-less Kiwis: The dirty secret of Aotea-Mower's media is how they actively manufacture the consent of their targeted news audiences.

Ride-on Aotea-Mower: The dirty secret of Aotea-Mower’s media is how they actively manufacture the consent of

their targeted Fight-less Kiwi news audiences. Photo: Tatooine Pirate Media

They’ll self-identify as something like ‘I’m not a political person’ or ‘I believe in the right to protest, but not to hold up traffic’ when a conversation veers off course from fun stuff like popular culture-anything, and ventures into remote uncharted political waters of the Unfun Stuff Ocean. Take for instance a terra incognito topic like the root cause of poverty.

On the metaphorical bedrock of the Aotea-Mower landmass, or at rock bottom, systemic persistent poverty is actually caused by a thing called oligarchism. If you’ve just pulled a frowny-face, let me provide the context that is missing from your news bytes info-lite diet.

Oligarchism is a hidden state within a state, or a deep state, controlled by super-rich people known as oligarchs. Even zombie people brainwashed by the conformist media have heard of Russian oligarchs who became rich oil and gas industrialists after the western-engineered collapse of the ‘evil’ Soviet Empire, as you’ll see when you watch The Shock Doctrine thinky-film.

It turns out an oligarchy can only exist in societies where there are great disparities in wealth, like USA America, as Jeffrey Winters makes clear in his scholarly book, Oligarchy. Indeed, as New Yorker Webster Griffin Tarpley makes clear in his e-book series Against Oligarchy, oligarchism is like a more savvy form of fascism, requiring sophisticated propaganda, cleverer agent provocateurs and deeper secret intelligence networks than the Nazis had.

Monopoly Money: Dynastic banking families conjure currency as debt into existence to buy up the planet.

 Monopoly Money: Dynastic banking families conjure currency as debt into existence to buy up the planet.

So, in a sophisticated western civil oligarchy led by an Anglo-American oligarchy you need a slicker final solution, or endgame, that relies on gradual changes dressed up with prosperity rhetoric, freedom propaganda and plenty of booty-titty-footy-tainment to distract the plebs of today’s Roman Empire.

Admittedly, without a yet-to-be invented Oligarchy board-game handy, explainifying this topic at a party requires happy-vibe killing paragraphs. For reasons that will become clearer very soon, it is asking a bit much of people suffering from Political Puberty Procrastination Psychosis (PPPP) to get turned on and make the space-jump into the parallel universe of Doom.

The third mistake I made at the February 4 anti-Trans-Pacific Partnership protest was to talk to a jock with a microphone. The ‘report’ he filed made my face turn into Mr. Angry Pumpkin Face. It turns out his name is Leigh Hart. He is part of an ‘Alternative Commentary Collective’ at Radio Hauraki, a commercial radio station owned by The Radio Network (TRN), which is in turn owned by NZME, which is part of the media cartel APN/NZME that owns numerous media properties, including The New Zealand Herald –and other titles you could turn into acronyms.

Kebabo-journalism: Radio Hauraki's Leigh Hart joined in the loony white media woosies' protestor-mowing mission .

Kebabo-journalism: Radio Hauraki‘s Leigh Hart joined in the loony white media woosies’ protestor-mowing mission.

Hart asked me while chomping on a kebab what was the most pressing concern I had with the Trans-Pacific Partnership agreement (TPPA). As you will see from his piece, I said:

“I can see the construction of a world government. And people can rightly sense that the transnationals and the super-rich have accumulated so much economic power that they’re able to steer the political trajectory of whole societies.”

I said more. As an undercover TV news editor by day, I know there’s only so much good content you can stuff into a news-byte sandwiche, especially when your reporting style is kebabo-journalism. I explained that the Trans-Pacific Partnership, and its Trans-Atlantic equivalent (TTIP) and the intellectual property deal (TiSA) together take in 78 countries. As such, these fraternal mega cartel deal siblings are the economic circuitry to make the United States the centre, or pivot state, of the coming massive regional super-states.

Leigh Hart’s agenda, it turns out, was to ridicule the protesters about how little some knew, as you can see in the video, “Leigh Hart at the TPP Protests”, which was reposted as “TPP is like a swingers party in the 70s” by The New Zealand Herald in its entertainment category.

This is ironic given that the Kiwi government has expended five years telling people nothing of substance and the news media has been about as interested in the topic as a teenage boy would be in a girl who insists on some PC-claptrap that you have to ask before you try to kiss her. Hart’s approach to reconstructing interviews is to misrepresent an event and undermine what people have to say, because – I realized looking at the video with my snoop-vision later – he is attached to puppet strings, presumably teethered to the APN-NZME media cartel, or to his bank dangling a mortgage credit-line.

Radio Hauraki’s hit-piece on the anti-TPPA protest belies a problem endemic to New Zealand or Aotea-Mower culture, specifically that it has a “fuck-tonne of jocks”, as I pointed out on my Facebook page. Due to this over-supply of jocks, dickheads like ‘Alternative Commentary Collective’ interviewer Leigh Hart can thrive without any self-awareness that he is a dickhead.

Farce-Trak: The Trans-Pacific Railroading Legislation Specialists

Farce-Trak: The Trans-Pacific Railroading Legislation Specialists. Photo: Tatooine Pirate Media

As an undercover TV news editor, I have to point out the propaganda here with Leigh Hart & Co. It’s in failing to show the nuances of the protest with a range of signs, strong samples of the speeches, and the scale of the march, which numbered over 15,000 people. To miss all this requires a deliberate decision to adhere to the Cult of Stupidity.

Indeed, if the conformist media missionaries all decided to publicly coerce the prime minister John Key into a live televised debate with the anti-TPPA movement’s leader, Auckland University law professor Jane Kelsey, she would eat him alive and the Trans-Pacific Partnership would be sunk like an ocean liner taking on un-sissy icebergs in the unsleepy night!

Syndicated Soap Actor: Nu Zullin's prime minister comes with strings attached. Photo/Artwork: Tatooine Pirate Media

Syndicated Soap Actor: Aotea Mower’s prime minister comes with strings attached. Photo/Artwork: Tatooine Pirate Media

And therein lies the propaganda of the sissy corporate-controlled media system.

In the yet-to-be invented Oligarchy board-game, upon the top of the Propaganda card stack there’s a card that reads:

“The key to effective propaganda is ensuring that inconvenient truths are always kept in the dark. It is by maintaining omissions of key evidence (or secrecy in less smarty-pants language) that media propaganda systems serve the survival of the ruling oligarchy. This survival requires deception upon deception and key insiders who are privy to the ‘Book of Deceipts’ to keep the deception undead in the heads of the Zombie host population.

 As such, this card qualifies the bearer to manufacture the consent of the people on a crucial issue, slither out of a scandal and or manipulate a targeted host audience to vote you into a high political office. Once used, it must be returned to the pack, or you must gain the ‘That Takes The Cake Card’ from The Audacious Feats card stack. This card allows you to bake a cake and serve it up to the parliamentary press corpe en route to international trade talks on an Air Force transporter, thereby buying their unswerving loyalty when the naïve conformist journalists later realize they behaved like five year-olds at a birthday party.

The cards will have to be large, I know.


Take a Quaalude Dude

Leigh Hart’s hit-piece “TPP is like a swingers party in the 70s” belies a widespread problem. Jocks-as-habitual-dickheads are incapable of taking important big issues seriously because they suffer from Political Puberty Procrastination Psychosis (PPPP).

The problem is exemplified by a bloke who advised me on my Facebook page to take a drug that sounded like it was invented for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ audience. The baby boomer bloke, who drives a fork-hoist at a plumbing and drainage supply franchise, wrote, “Take a quaalude dude chillout it wasn’t meant to be taken seriously.” In addition to receiving unsolicited advice, which is a customary right of white woosie blokes and chicks, I also learned that a quaalude dude was a popular, highly addictive party drug that became known by names such as a Disco Biscuit, Ludes, and Wagon Wheels in the poorly-composed Polaroid snapshot days of the 1970s. It was a sedative used to release people from their sexual inhibitions and was often drunk with wine by college students, who called this ritualistic bonding, ‘Luding out’.

Evidently, the point of protest is to hook up with other protestors, in a ‘make love, not war’ way. This would help grow the ‘rent-a-crowd’, I suppose.

If the TPPA gets ratified in all 12 countries, protesters in the future will likely need to gain crowd funding from non-protestors to afford the ‘Quaalude dude’ drug because the pharmaceutical drug cartels have provisions to maintain high patent fees for extended periods.

To be super-clear, taking aim at the rich, powerful and over-privileged is the bulls-eye of satire, as John Cleese, John Oliver or Jon Stuart might inform the Kiwi douchebags of Aotea-Mower’s media. Targeting vulnerable people in the street who lack the ability to articulate what they understand with the sophistication the TPPA’s movement’s New Zealand leaders, such as Jane Kelsey and Barry Coates, are the cheap points scored in the outer rings. Not everyone has the fuck-tonne of confidence and gift-of-the-gab that the narcissists who gravitate to ‘on air’ jobs possess jealously like enchanted curses upon us all. Besides, it’s not like Aotea-Mower’s media missionary douchebags know that much about where the Trans-Pacific railroad is taking us.

Even more disturbing is the big fact that the ridiculing of the anti-TPPA protests was not limited to Leigh Hart and Radio Hauraki’s sad-arse efforts that dent the genre of authentic satire. As the The Spinoff news site found, there was a free-for-all of humiliation and a ‘don’t-block-the-intersections-because-mothers-with-children’ mantra from New Zealand’s inane-stream media.

Media missionary Julian Lee’s piece filed for TV3’s ‘current affairs’ program Story, showed he also set out to make fun of the protestors. If you like awkward workplace farewell party videos, this is your journalistic ‘cup-of-tea’.

What's the Story? TV#'s sad excuse for a current affairs show opts for a a Workplace Farewell Video-styles in the absence of journalism.

What’s the Story? TV3’s sad excuse for a current affairs show opts for a Workplace Farewell Video-styles hit-piece in the absence of journalism.

Meanwhile, over at TVNZ, media missionary Jessica Mutch filed a story on the state broadcasters’ One News six o’clock bulletin that covered the intersection blockades in Auckland’s CBD. Yet, in the whole time that Mutch followed the protesters as they moved from one motorway entrance to another to disrupt traffic flows, viewers didn’t learn that much about their motives because Mutch didn’t bother to interview them.

Is it too much to ask protesters why exactly they were blocking the intersections?

Instead, Mutch was more concerned about the inconvenience to Kiwis-as-motorists. This trivializing of protest and the big issues at stake is a bit like being more concerned with hospital beds that could be filled with fully pregnant mothers, but are instead occupied by the seriously maimed civilians of a neighbouring walled-in bombed state deemed to be the enemy of the belligerent empire you belong to.

In spreading their cult propaganda of global capitalism and the universal empire under construction, the news media – for the most part – failed to make it clear that protest is designed to disrupt commerce and government in order to make everyone stop. One exception was The New Zealand Herald’s David Fisher who was able to point out how effective their tactics had been, because the Cult of Stupidity that is engulfing us has not turned his brain into mush.

Subtext in Dismissal: Aotea-Mower's media douschbags' bias implies 'Everything is fine, stupid".

Subtext in Dismissal: Media douschbags’ ‘traffic must flow’ bias implies “Everything is fine, stupid”.

In an opinion piece titled “An Open Letter to TPP Protesters” published on the pro-corporate National Business Review (NBR) website, media missionary Nathan Smith argued that protesting is a “comprehensive surrender to the media”, which he describes as “a machinery of power” and “an arm of the state”. Smith’s point is that protests are simply set-pieces in ‘the system’ with its own ‘rules’, which he does not name or define. He says because the protesters are too stupid and skill-less at present to learn of these phenomena, they can’t possibly begin to change them. Smith clearly has phenomenal assumption powers of the kind prized by Fox News, as one can see by watching the thinky-film, Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch’s War on Journalism. Smith wrote:

“The media doesn’t care for nuance and reasoned debate: It wants a cage fight because that makes for good clicking. The media’s job is to package a protest as a Manichean commodity, and which side is the light or dark is entirely up to the editors and journalists.”

Protests become a data rich commodity that make ad revenue for Manhattan suits – according to Smith – and the media operates outside the rules of ‘the system’ and exists to reinforce it.

In other words, the NBR media missionary is justifying the corporate media cartels’ license to shill, to trick and brainwash everyone they can, despite promoting themselves as reliable sources of neutral information utilizing ‘free speech’ rights. Their naïve audiences have been conditioned to believe the media cartels’ manufactured myth that capitalism is the best and only possible ‘economic’ system to maintain ‘free and open societies’. In reality, media missionaries work to enslave us all, partly through their own ignorance, and the higher up you go, through their own conscious connivance. This ‘is why media scholars Robert McChesney and Edward S. Herman described as media missionaries in their thinky-book “The Global Media: The New Missionaries of Corporate Capitalism“, although they argue there is no need for conspiracy in media (which is naïve) [See the Propaganda card above – Ed]. The brainwashing role of the corporate media cartels is explored in thinky-films such as Manufacturing Consent – Noam Chomsky and the MediaPsywar – The Real Battlefield is in the Mind and, Orwell Rolls In His Grave.

‘The system’ Smith is talking about is oligarchical empire. As dominant capitalist coalitions, oligarchic capitalists are driving global capitalism to usurp the nation-based system of democratic institutions (which they regard as their administrative system), and replace sissy liberal democracy with technocratic supranational institutions through coercion, (as I have written about previously in “Missing in News-action: Confronting ‘Deep State’ Power Crimes“). Smith’s message to the TPP protesters is to “fight for … “the specific power of being taken seriously without the need to protest”. In other words, he is saying protesters need to strategize, organize, and mobilize a non-violent global counter-movement that outflanks the prevailing power structures, including the media, so that they have no choice but to capitulate. This would mean not only forgoing the news media, but also social media, phones and other digital technologies that serve up a “tsunami of data”.

In short, Smith as a media missionary is admitting he is too sissy to fight the dark side and its oligarchical empire by staging a mutiny within the institution he works for. But he is also saying that protesters need to sharpen up. This is so true, it reads like a pep-talk from one of the Arch-Bishop of Canterbury’s altar boys to native Māori on how to kick the Queen of New Zealand and her Crown apparatus out of their territory without it simply being replaced by the universal empire gulping the entire planet every unhappy meal time.

This widespread refusal to supply by the corporate media of critical context to the issues qualifies as as ‘arguing from ignorance’. This the logical flaw is defined by Professor T. Edward Damer in Attacking Unreasonable Arguments  as “Arguing for the truth (or falsity) of a claim because there is no evidence or proof to the contrary or because of the inability or refusal of an opponent to present convincing evidence to the contrary”. Because these protectionist mega-cartel deals are about creating huge economic circuits for the Western-aligned New World Order empire project, the media cartels default to showing the protesters in the street as incapable of providing convincing evidence, thereby positioning the movement’s leaders as somehow untrustworthy, pesky manipulators.

Arguing from Ignorance: If protestors chant in a forest, Aotea Mower people would still miss the point (assuming they covered the event).

Arguing from Ignorance: If protestors chant in a forest, Aotea Mower media people would still miss the point (assuming they covered the event).

Indeed, the point of protest is to provoke people to reset their brainwashed minds and heed the meaning of the experience. The studio-based show hosts joined in this ‘traffic must flow’ mantra like a politically-correct new age cult. The only thing missing was Aotea-Mower’s media all creepily saying, “Join us. Join us”.

In essence, on the day the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement was signed in Auckland at the Sky City casino complex, Aotearoa – The Land of the Long White Cloud ceased to be, and became Aotea-Mower: The Land of the Loony White Media Woosies.

The Julian Lees and the Jessica Mutchs of Aotea-Mower are to principled journalism what jiggalo-jocks and slutty-hos are to love. Meanwhile, the Leigh Hart’s of Aotea-Mower are to satire what sissy blokes, scaredy-cat chicks and corporate-humour nerds are to being authentic human beings.

Because conformist media missionaries are ignorant and arrogant people, they are at once oblivious and confident, but not by any special talents. Due to their stupidity, greed and narcissistic egos, such media missionaries are actually helping construct a tyrannical global empire by the context they fail to supply.

Since these media missionary muppets lack the inner resources to manifest anything close to approaching an epiphany by themselves, they become an echo chamber of each others’ habits and psychopathic caricatures of their narcissistic selves. Whereas, actual earnest media people who possess in-built filtering mechanisms to shrug off incessant attempts to hook their limbs, spines and heads up to puppet strings don’t have shrunken Grinch-sized hearts.

In short, the Julian Lees, the Jessica Mutch’s and the Leigh Hart’s of this dumb-dee-doo-land – Aotea-Mower – need to grow political balls and ovaries and hearts, each according their sexuality.

As for the zombie-fied Kiwi population at-large, it’s important to note that ‘Quaalude dude’ pills won’t help sissy blokes, scaredy-cat chicks, and corporate-humour nerds go through political puberty, according to peer-reviewed literature and thinky-films about how the media manufactures our consent.

But ‘Quaalude dude’ pills may help sissy blokes, scaredy-cat chicks, and corporate-humour nerds hook up with one another as they join the ‘rent-a-crowd’.

Lude out.


Snoopman is back writing for Snoopman News after being fired by Snoopmonster (the founder of Snoopman News), because Snoopman gave away millions of his bosses’ money to anti-TPPA protesters late last year. But, the meddling kids at Snoopman News discovered that a crook was impersonating Snoopmonster.

See related stories:

Almost Fully Operational: The Mega Cartel Death Star

TPPA Crime Reporting Beat Inadequate: Why protests against the wealth & sovereignty ‘Hold-ups’ in progress need to be reported

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