Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about the 9/11 Conspiracy Theory in Under 5 Minutes

Nothing to see here, folks! Move along...

TRANSCRIPT WITH SOURCES: On the morning of September 11, 2001, 19 men armed with boxcutters directed by a man on dialysis in a cave fortress halfway around the world using a satellite phone and a laptop directed the most sophisticated penetration of the most heavily-defended airspace in the world, overpowering the passengers and the military combat-trained pilots on 4 commercial aircraft before flying those planes wildly off course for over an hour without being molested by a single fighter interceptor.

These 19 hijackers, devout religious fundamentalists who liked to drink alcoholsnort cocaine, and live with pink-haired strippers, managed to knock down 3 buildings with 2 planes in New York, while in Washington a pilot who couldn’t handle a single engine Cessna was able to fly a 757 in an 8,000 foot descending 270 degree corskscrew turn to come exactly level with the ground, hitting the Pentagon in the budget analyst officewhere DoD staffers were working on the mystery of the 2.3 trillion dollars that Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld had announced “missing” from the Pentagon’s coffers in a press conference the day before, on September 10, 2001.

Luckily, the news anchors knew who did it within minutes, the pundits knew within hours, the Administration knew within the day, and the evidence literally fell into the FBI’s lap. But for some reason a bunch of crazy conspiracy theorists demanded an investigation into the greatest attack on American soil in history.

The investigation was delayedunderfundedset up to fail, a conflict of interest and a cover up from start to finish. It was based on testimony extracted through torture, the records of which were destroyed. It failed to mention the existence of WTC7Able DangerPtechSibel EdmondsOBL and the CIA, and the drills of hijacked aircraft being flown into buildings that were being simulated at the precise same time that those events were actually happening. It was lied to by the Pentagon, the CIA, the Bush Administration and as for Bush and Cheney…well, no one knows what they told it because they testified in secretoff the recordnot under oath and behind closed doors. It didn’t bother to look at who funded the attacks because that question is of “little practical significance“. Still, the 9/11 Commission did brilliantly, answering all of the questions the public had (except most of the victims’ family members’ questions) and pinned blame on all the people responsible (although no one so much as lost their job), determining the attacks were “a failure of imagination” because “I don’t think anyone could envision flying airplanes into buildings ” except the Pentagon and FEMA and NORAD and the NRO.

The DIA destroyed 2.5 TB of data on Able Danger, but that’s OK because it probably wasn’t important.

The SEC destroyed their records on the investigation into the insider trading before the attacks, but that’s OK because destroying the records of the largest investigation in SEC history is just part of routine record keeping.

NIST has classified the data that they used for their model of WTC7′s collapse, but that’s OK because knowing how they made their model of that collapse would “jeopardize public safety“.

The FBI has argued that all material related to their investigation of 9/11 should be kept secret from the public, but that’s OK because the FBI probably has nothing to hide.

This man never existed, nor is anything he had to say worthy of your attention, and if you say otherwise you are a paranoid conspiracy theorist and deserve to be shunned by all of humanity. Likewise himhimhim, and her. (and her and her and him).

Osama Bin Laden lived in a cave fortress in the hills of Afghanistan, but somehow got away. Then he was hiding out in Tora Bora but somehow got away. Then he lived in Abottabad for years, taunting the most comprehensive intelligence dragnet employing the most sophisticated technology in the history of the world for 10 years, releasing video after video with complete impunity (and getting younger and younger as he did so), before finally being found in a daring SEAL team raid which wasn’t recorded on video, in which he didn’t resist or use his wife as a human shield, and in which these crack special forces operatives panicked and killed this unarmed man, supposedly the best source of intelligence about those dastardly terrorists on the planet. Then they dumped his body in the ocean before telling anyone about it. Then a couple dozen of that team’s members died in a helicopter crash in Afghanistan.

This is the story of 9/11, brought to you by the media which told you the hard truths about JFK and incubator babies and mobile production facilitiesand the rescue of Jessica Lynch.

If you have any questions about this story…you are a batshit, paranoid, tinfoil, dog-abusing baby-hater and will be reviled by everyone. If you love your country and/or freedom, happiness, rainbows, rock and roll, puppy dogs, apple pie and your grandma, you will never ever express doubts about any part of this story to anyone. Ever.

This has been a public service announcement by: the Friends of the FBICIANSADIASECMSMWhite HouseNIST, and the 9/11 Commission. Because Ignorance is Strength.

www.youtube.com
on Mon, Sep 12 2011 · 7,814 Views
Load Comments
You Might Be Interested In
92 min · The Elephant in the Room is a documentary following British filmmaker Dean Puckett through his journey into the 9/11 Truth Movement: a global movement of 'conspiracy theorists' who believe that the official explanation about what happened on 9/11 is totally or partially...
11 min · Abby Martin talks to Lance deHaven-Smith, Florida State University professor and author of 'Conspiracy Theory in America', about some of the US' most controversial events and how labeling truth-seekers as 'conspiracy theorists' damages democracy. For further reading...
6 min · Tired of 9/11 Truthers always going on about "facts" and "verified evidence," which they claim have even been sourced from mainstream news outlets? Well then check out this hilarious instructional video where you'll learn how to become an expert 9/11 debunker, create your own...
18 min · Addressing the countless "Sandy Hook was a hoax" videos that have been spreading, in 3 parts. Our apologies for the swearing and insulting tone of part 1. If you want a more moderate tone see part 3. But it's worth mentioning that part 1's insulting dismissal of "conspiracy...
85 min · Best introduction to 9/11 truth, dealing mainly with the 9/11 Commission cover-up as exposed by the victims family members in their fight to find out what happened to their loved ones that day.
114 min · In 2 hours Richard Gage, AIA of Architects & Engineers for 9/11 Truth takes you through most of the scientific forensic evidence proving beyond a reasonable doubt that the destruction of WTC was accomplished with explosive controlled demolition...
60 min · In a presentation by Professor David Ray Griffin, he asks "What's wrong with the official report?" This presentation builds on the evidence presented in "9/11: Press for Truth" and goes on to detail even more disturbing contradictions and false-hoods.
3 min · Naomi Wolf was at Vroman's bookstore in Pasadena, California to give a talk and sign her new book "Give Me Liberty." Stewart Howe, of WeAreChangeLA, was on hand and asked Ms. Wolf to give a message to the truth and accountability movement. After admitting that she had no...
3 min · Over the years, several polls have been conducted that show a majority of people are concerned about the truth of 9/11. In August 2004, 911Truth.org commissioned Zogby International for a poll that concluded "half (49.3%) of New York City residents and 41% of New York...
101 min · "Wrong, Blasphemous and Sinful" is the English version of the Belgian film "Epouvantails, autruches et perroquets." The film analyzes the way the media managed to skip or distort controversial subjects surrounding the 9/11 attacks. The original film in French appeared on...
14 min · Two short debunkings of the British documentary that claimed people are not responsible for global warming. The audio quality of the presentation in part 1 is poor, but this and the video in part 2 are the best video responses we've found that directly critiques the main...
20 min · When the Great Global Warming Swindle was first broadcast - climate deniers thought that at last they had the definitive polemic to beat back the forces of science and reason..... This 8 minute video corrects multiple manipulations of data presented in the film, including...
9/11 Truth News · 30+ 9/11 Truth Hit Pieces In 2 Weeks For the tenth anniversary of the 9/11 attack, the mainstream media has offered an unprecedented level of apparent bias against reasonable people invested in justice for the victims of 9/11. The majority of articles below imply that...
Kevin R. Ryan · The terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001 were a turning point in world history. We have been told that these attacks were planned and implemented by nineteen Arab Muslim hijackers under the direction of the leaders of al Qaeda. According to the official account, this...
Jon Gold · Republished in light of the recent Naval Yard shooting. - Ed On December 14th, 2012, a horrible tragedy took place at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown Connecticut. Adam Lanza walked into the school and fatally shot twenty children and six adult staff. Some...
Peter Phillips and Mickey Huff · “Where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob and degrade them, neither persons nor property will be safe.” —Frederick Douglass Critics of...
Paul Craig Roberts · In the US on September 11, 2011, the tenth anniversary of 9/11, politicians and their presstitute media presented Americans with "A Day of Remembrance," a propaganda exercise that hardened the 9/11 lies into dogma. Meanwhile, in Toronto, Canada, at Ryerson University the...
Tim Hjersted · With the anniversary of September 11th, 2001 being remembered today, we can expect America and our media to look back once again on this turning point in our nation's history.  But like every year before it, we will look back with our eyes half open, not wanting to look at...
End Ecocide in Europe · One million voices for the law of ecocide  
Gordon McDowell · Thorium is readily available & can be turned into energy without generating transuranic wastes. Thorium's capacity as nuclear fuel was discovered during WW II, but ignored because it was unsuitable for making bombs. A liquid-fluoride thorium reactor (LFTR) is the optimal...
Like us on Facebook?