Rich in Turmoil as Workers Desert London
The Radical Housing Network produce spoof copies of the London Evening Standard imagining what the city will look like in 2026.
Rich in Turmoil as Workers Desert London
By Radical Housing Network / standardevening.com

Wednesday 11 March 2026

The prime minister has been detained after dog walkers found him staggering around an alley having seemingly not eaten for days. One onlooker said he had seen him desperately trying to smash open a tin of foie gras with a rock.

Boris Johnson announced last week he was looking for a new cook after his entire staff joined the exodus from London complaining they couldn’t afford to stay.

The episode is the latest in a series of celebrity shocks as workers such as nurses, electricians, teachers and cleaners are priced out of the capital, forced away by spiralling rent hikes, unaffordable house prices and the mass sale and demolition of council housing.

Activists and housing experts have pointed to the Housing and Planning Act (2016), which ended lifetime secure tenancies and forced the sale of council homes, as the piece of legislation that rang the final death knell for genuinely affordable housing in London.

Over-spilling sewers, derelict houses and decomposing bodies have become everyday sights. The only remaining medical facilities in zone 1 are private clinics specialising in plastic surgery.

Oil baron Gus Brannon told the Standard Evening last week: “I went in for gall bladder surgery last month, but came out with a new nose.”

Meanwhile the departure of train drivers and mechanics has been putting mounting strain on the capital’s rail network.

Cracks in the new social order first began to appear when malnourished oligarchs and cabinet ministers were found fighting over handouts at a food bank.

The outlook is equally bleak for high society revellers. As domestic labour has become increasingly scarce in the capital, a new craze has developed for billionaires to employ famous actors and well-known TV personalities as waitresses, chauffeurs and nannies.

The trend began in 2019 when the Saudi royal family employed soap opera star Danny Dryer to work as Head Butler at exclusive dinner parties and champagne receptions hosted in their palatial Mayfair home.

One former party guest said: “Danny added a certain grit and authenticity to proceedings. But the man has no decorum. He was heard calling the King of Jordan a ‘cheeky slag’. You just can’t get the staff these days.”


This is no joke!

It may not be 2026 yet, but if the policies contained in the Housing and Planning Bill currently being rushed through Parliament come into effect we can expect the radical social cleansing of London described in this spoof paper.

The Housing Bill is a wholesale attack on the social housing that currently provides secure and affordable housing to millions of us who make the city the amazing and diverse place it is — and keep it running.

But it’s not just about social housing. The government’s proposals would also make it easier for private landlords to evict their tenants, and make home ownership even more inaccessible. Research by Shelter found that in London the ‘Starter Homes’ promised in the Housing Bill will be unaffordable to those on average incomes, and that households with a single income would struggle even if they were in the top 10% of earners — consigning the rest of us to a lifetime of paying rip-off rents for poor quality housing that we can be evicted from at the drop of a hat.

It’s clear we need changes that put everyone’s need for decent, secure and affordable housing ahead of those who are profiting from the current property bubble.

Opposition to the Bill, which is set to exacerbate the housing crisis, is already building and pressure is mounting for alternatives like controls on private rents and investment in new good quality council housing rather than selling off public land to profiteering developers.

This Sunday, thousands of people will march through London to protest the Housing Bill. And an on-going campaign against the Bill is being organised and supported by groups in the Radical Housing Network, a London-based network of grassroots groups and campaigners working together to challenge the root causes of the housing crisis.

Join the national demonstration against the Housing Bill
Sunday 13 March, 12 noon
Lincoln’s Inn Fields WC2A (nearest tube: Holborn)
Find out more and join the Radical Housing Network at radicalhousingnetwork.org

0.0 ·
0
What's Next
Trending Today
This Polish Ad Will Give You The Feels, For Reals
3 min · 23,527 views today · This is an ad for Allegro, a Polish company similar to eBay, and it's heartwarmingly lovely.
Time-Lapse Satellite Images Give a Startling Snapshot of Past 30 Years on Earth
2 min · 17,906 views today · Working with satellite images from NASA and the US Geological Survey, Google has created a searchable snapshot of the past 3 decades on Earth, creating startling time-lapses of...
Ten Ways We Misunderstand Children
Jan Hunt · 14,378 views today · 1. We expect children to be able to do things before they are ready. We ask an infant to keep quiet. We ask a 2-year-old to sit still. We ask a 3-year-old to clean his room...
The Problem with Hating Our Enemies
Charles Eisenstein · 7,865 views today · He who fights too long against dragons becomes a dragon himself; and if thou gaze too long into the abyss, the abyss will gaze into thee. —Nietzsche
How to Expose Trump's Dastardly Bait-And-Switch
Robert Borosage · 5,281 views today · Trump is not an economic populist, he’s just playing one on TV.
Swanage Protectors Camp - Campaigning to Stop New Oil and Gas Exploration in Dorset, UK
7 min · 3,101 views today · The planning permission for an exploratory oil rig near Swanage ran out on 3rd December 2016. A good day all round for those campaigning against the fossil fuel industry. Hear...
The Myth of Positivity: Why Your Pain Holds a Mighty Purpose
umair haque · 2,870 views today · Of all the great myths of contemporary life, one of the most toxic is positivity. It says: there are negative and positive emotions, and only the positive ones are worth...
Why You Should Stop Apologizing for Doing All That You Can
Kelly Hayes · 2,785 views today · I’ve noticed lately that a lot of allies and accomplices I talk to about NoDAPL and other struggles will name what they are trying to contribute to the cause, and then promptly...
Have You Heard of The Great Forgetting? It Happened 10,000 Years Ago & Completely Affects Your Life
Daniel Quinn · 2,077 views today · (Excerpted from the book, The Story of B) With every audience and every individual, I have to begin by making them see that the cultural self-awareness we inherit from our...
The Lid Is off, The Truth Is Coming Out
Charles Eisenstein · 1,856 views today · It is getting harder to keep a secret these days. The collective shadow of our society, once safely relegated to the dark basement of the unmentionable, is now exposed to...
Van Jones: Only a 'Love Army' Will Conquer Trump
Tim Dickinson · 1,785 views today · Though it's important to fight Trump's policies, "it's at the values level that we need to do a reset," says Jones
Sleaford Mods on Brexit Britain
4 min · 1,779 views today · In early 2014 the Guardian hailed duo Sleaford Mods as ‘the most uncompromising British protest music made in years’. Here, we go backstage at a Sleaford Mods gig in their...
6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal
Mark Manson · 1,561 views today · There’s no class in high school on how to not be a shitty boyfriend or girlfriend. Sure, they teach us the biology of sex, the legality of marriage, and maybe read a few...
15 Easy Things You Can Do to Help When You Feel Like Shit
Maritsa Patrinos · 1,411 views today · You don’t have to tackle it all at once.
Black on Black Crime Isn't a Myth
Donyae Coles · 1,358 views today · Let’s talk about Black on Black crime. Maybe you’ve heard about it on the news, specifically likely in regards to Black people murdered by other Black people. Perhaps you’ve...
John Lennon's "Imagine," Made Into a Comic Strip
John Lennon. Art by Pablo Stanley · 1,321 views today · This is easily the best comic strip ever made.  Pabl
David Graeber: We Need a Revolution in the Way We Think about "Work"
4 min · 1,248 views today · David Graeber on the Value of Work. Does the world really need neuroadvertisers, PR researchers and branding consultants? Renowned academic and coiner of the ‘we are the 99%’...
Today I Rise: This Beautiful Short Film Is Like a Love Poem For Your Heart and Soul
4 min · 1,036 views today · "The world is missing what I am ready to give: My Wisdom, My Sweetness, My Love and My hunger for Peace." "Where are you? Where are you, little girl with broken wings but full...
A Hauntingly Beautiful Short Film About Life and Death
5 min · 956 views today · The Life of Death is a touching handdrawn animation about the day Death fell in love with Life.
Dr. Maya Angelou: Love Liberates
5 min · 898 views today · Words to live by from Dr. Maya Angelou. Love each other.
Load More
Like us on Facebook?
Rich in Turmoil as Workers Desert London