By Hamilton Nolan
Feb 3, 2016
Wow, the price of oil is still low as hell. Oil company earnings are terrible. Consumer prices at the pump are super cheap. Oh, that remind me, you know what we could use right now?
A carbon tax!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Climate change poses an existential threat to humanity’s future. Everyone knows we need to emit less carbon. Everyone knows that placing a tax on carbon emissions would curb carbon emissions.
“But that would be too expensive,” say fools.
Meanwhile everyone is buying SUVs again because gas is so cheap! Fuck off, Priuses!
You know the best time to put a tax on carbon that would raise the price of oil? When oil is cheap. Hey, great, oil is cheap—now we’re going to burn it like it’s nothing as fast as possible which is the exact opposite of what we’re supposed to be doing if we don’t want to melt all the ice caps! Idiots! And while people enjoy their little cheap gas tank fill-up, these ultra-low oil prices are actually fucking up the world economy in tangible ways.
So do a carbon tax! Right now! You don’t have to send the profits to the fucking oil companies. You use the profits to rebuild our nation’s shitty roads and bridges and put millions of Americans to work and maybe break off a piece to research clean energy, while you’re at it. Maybe even break off a piece to offset the impact of a tax increase on poor people, while you’re at it. Maybe even break off a piece to cut overall income taxes just so fucking Republicans will vote for it, while you’re at it. It’s worth it! It would encourage people to stop buying SUVs and generally going backwards on energy use, just because it’s cheap. Nobody will even notice, because gas is so cheap anyhow!
Great time for a carbon tax, right now. Hello? Who’s there? Carbon tax.