By Yasmine Amin
Sep 29, 2015
1. When the people you love hurt you
We’ve all been hurt before. We let people in, and they shatter us. So we develop a ‘thick skin,’ as they tell us we should. But there are two different types of thick skin, the good and the bad. The first is when you develop resilience that keeps you strong; you don’t let people’s mistakes shatter you. The second is when you hold on to the fear of getting hurt. So you develop this ‘thick skin’, coated with fear and avoidance, as a barrier to block people out. This will ruin you; to avoid attachments for the fear of getting hurt is to avoid life.
2. When your bad habits turn into poison
We all have bad habits. While sometimes a bad habit is as simple as biting your nails, a bad habit can also turn into an anchor that prevents you from reaching your full potential. The thing with bad habits is that they provide us with comfort, so we just keep going back to them. Our brain tricks us into thinking that we must keep going back because that is the pattern of destruction we have created. But bad habits aren’t constricted to smoking, excessive drinking, and gambling. Bad habits can also be people you keep going back to, poisonous thoughts you hold on to, and self-abuse. In order to finally free yourself of the shackles that bind you to these habits, you must understand that a habit is a cycle. Each time you re-perform an activity, it just gets easier and easier to perform, and it eventually doesn’t require mental effort. So, you become stuck in a vicious cycle. Once you recognize this, you can overcome it.
3. When you put up a good fight, but you lose
It’s hard to let go of something you’ve put so much time and energy into. One of the worst things in life is putting so much effort into something, only to have it turn into ‘wasted effort.’ But what most people do not realize is that effort is never wasted. Sometimes you put everything you have into something, and it fails. But the lessons you learn about yourself and the world around you can propel you forward to even greater things. You must learn how to harness the energy you put into something and use it, along with the lessons you learned, as a catalyst for other ambitions in life. Don’t let the thoughts of wasted effort hold a sour note in the back of your mind.
4. When you fall in love with someone you aren’t compatible with
Contrary to popular belief, it does happen. Your ‘perfect match’ and the person you love do not always have to be synonymous. We are often told that we will fall in love with people we are compatible with; this is the biggest myth. People fail to accept the idea that the person they love might not be right for them because they were taught to believe that love always wins. In a perfect world, this might be true, but this world is far from perfect. Sometimes logic and circumstances get in the way. Sometimes you love someone, but they just aren’t good for you. So take a good, hard, look in the mirror, and tell yourself to leave before it hurts too much to look at them.
5. When you enter a new chapter in life
As we grow, we enter new chapters in life. We move to new cities, we leave old friends, people leave us, we grow, and we learn. It’s just a part of how life works. People tend to hold on to what they think their life should look like, in fear of venturing into an unfamiliar chapter. Think of life as your favorite book: some chapters are worse than others. In one chapter someone dies, and in another someone falls in love. You should always look forward to new chapters, because who knows what might happen. The next chapter may be better than the last, or worse, and that’s okay. Imagine reading a book and going through each chapter while your head is stuck thinking about the second one. You find yourself on the last page, and the whole book is a blur. You don’t want your life to turn into a blur. Whether you like it or not, your life will change, and life doesn’t stop to ask whether or not you want to board the ship. So be present and don’t be afraid to make transitions.